Out of Breath

I take a swig of my flask,
a taste of drunken scenery.
Sweet toxins running into me.
I bring a cigarette to my lips,
a kiss of death, I needed this.

I've been decieved for far too long,
I wear this mask,
and they think me strong.
I wish that I could love you still,
but now I know I never will

And so I return to my flask and cigarette
with a heavy heart and out of breath...

This is an old poem, written when I was 16-17 or something like that. I had almost forgotten about it in the mists of time, but found it again today, and thought I would repost it. I was heartsick when I wrote it. I had been in a relationship with someone I saw some good in, and that I saw potential in, but who constantly disappointed me. At this time I saw sense and realized it was time to cut my losses and just get over it. So I wrote this poem and went outside on my porch and lit a cigarette. I really am a silent drama queen when I think about it, a melancholy goth girl who thrives artistically during hardship.

Little me

There is much to say about little me,
but so hard to find the words
There are many hidden things inside of me
that no one ever learns

Little secret spaces
spaces that want to be liberated
that want to reveal their hidden worth

There is a lot of dream inside of little me,
so hard to set it free
There are flaming wishes raging inside of me
so wildly it burns

Little sparkling bonfires
bonfires that shine a guiding light
illuminating the pathways I must tread

I'm in a funny mood these days. I've been living on painkillers and antibiotics this week after I got one of my wisdom teeth pulled out. I am under a lot of stress. I'm making a magazine cover, finishing a large school project and trying to do some self promotion work, and prepare an Artstand for Desucon 2010. It's all a lot to handle all at once and I always work so hard to make everything work out in the end. I try to do my very best, I try so hard it wears me out. I've become a workoholic. Something I never thought I would be. It's not healthy.

Things usually work out in the end. I just have to keep up the work and cross my fingers and not let the stress get to me.

Wolverhampton here I come

As of September 2010 Wolverhampton will be my home. I've just been accpeted to their BA Hons illustration course. This is very exciting for me. After waitng for my papers since the middle of January it was about time they finally arrived. I was afraid they wouldn't arrive at all. I signed the paper scanned them, e-mailed them to Go study, and the in turn are sending the papers to the university.

This is where I will be studying, at the university of Wolverhampton City Campus ^^

Letter designs

We've been designing letters recently. This was a small assignment we did as a part of the pamphlet design assignement. We still had to be inspired by water in some form, and then find a clever way to make a stylish and readable letter.
I came up with a koi fish design that I decided to put inside a simple bold "V" shape, and a second design which was inspired by running watercolors.

This is how they turned out:

I think they both turned out great. They are very different from each other. The A is a little softer and subtle. The V is more graphic I guess you could say. I can't really say which one I like the most, as I think they are both good representations of the work that I do. I prefer them in black and white, becuase I usually work with black and white. Although when printed the V was printed in a lovely gold. I'll try to get a picture of it up on the net sometime soon.

The 13th issue

Yaaay, the thirteenth issue of Crow Toes Quarterly finally arrived.
Kind of cool to finally hold a real life copy of the magazine in my hands.

This is the cover of the magazine, my illustrations can be found on my blog in a previous post called illustrations for crow toes quarterly.

 

Although the print version doesn't really do my illustrations justice (they look very different on the screen) It's still really cool.

I'll be sending a copy to my mom, she's my biggest fan after all :P

 

A little update and some recent schoolwork

Well what can I say, it's been a stressfull time. I've been trying to do some personal work but time is limited. I really want to participate in the ArtOrder pin-up challenge, and I think I can make it happen, if I just strategize a bit. 

I have to finish my personal project for school, and I've finished most of the illustrations, but there's till a lot of paper work to do, and research to jot down, and we need to find a place where we can exhibit our art. As stated previously, a lot of work.

I've promised to help out a couple of students with some simple illustrations for their schoolwork. I think they study commercials/ads or something like that. Three illustrations isn't exactly a lot, but when it's piled upon everything else it's enough to make my neck muscles go slightly stiffer and make me just a little more tightly wound than usual.

And to make matters worse I'm still waiting for the schoolpapers from Wolverhampton, apparently they've gotten lost in the mail or something. It's unnerving to just sit here and wait...oh well, I'll just take a deep breath and hope the universe provides in the end.

On a slightly brighter note, I've finished some pamphlet design for our most recent school assignment, it turned out ok. Not my best work for sure, but I didn't expect it to be. If I was interested in graphic design I would have studied graphic design. But it's valuable experience and it might help me haul in some extra work now and then.

Here it is: 

example 1

Example 2

 

Published in Black Lantern Publishing ^^

Hooray ^^ I've just been published for the third time in my life. The first was our schools year book, nothing big or special, but it was still fun. The second time was for the childrens literature and poetry magazine Crow Toes Quarterly,
and now I've been published in Black Lantern Publishings summer issue of their art and literary journal. I find it very exciting, especially since they were kind enough to write a little bit about me and my art and provide a link to my online portfolio.

Head on over to black lantern publishing and take a look at all the lovely artists and writers they have lined Including me, Anita Olsen a.k.a Anita Night) up for their summer issue which was recently released:

http://blacklanternpublishing3.blogspot.com/