I have no idea how to manage my days!

Have you ever felt that way?
I have on so many occasions that I have lost count.
It's not because I don't have a clue about time management. I am a virtual master of scheduling and
efficiency. I can plan the hell out of pretty much everything. I have read the theory of time management, I have read about how other artists manage their time and what they spend their working days doing so the problem lies somewhere else.

It lies in execution.
It lies in the fact that I am big fucking scaredy cat!

Too many times I sit down to do some networking or to approach new potential customers or I'll try to look for an agent that can represent me and I have no idea of how I'm supposed to do it. I'm always terrified of offending people, writing the wrong things in my e-mails, sounding unprofessional or any number of silly things like that. I sometimes also find myself stumped when it comes to actually finding new potential clients and markets where my art would fit in. I'm not a 3D modeler, I don't do programming or graphic design. Even though I work mostly digitally I'm pretty much and old fashioned illustrator. I like to do book covers, character designs, spot illustrations, concept art, band merchandise like stickers and t-shirt designs and so on, but I can't do animation and my style is not really a modern editorial style, it just doesn't fit in with what the market seems to be going for these days and it's really frustrating.

I didn't fit in at school, or among most people in general before. I've gotten a lot better at it now though on a personal level, but I'm still struggling in most other aspects of my life. Most of my problems I find to be based in fear. I'm terrified of failure, just the idea of not being able to achieve my goals is sometimes enough to stop me from even starting a project, or I'll start working but I won't let anyone know about it because I'm scared that people will ridicule my efforts. However because I'm stubborn I force myself to do things I'm scared of all of the time. It's exhausting, and I fret so much over my own failures and inadequacies that I have trouble sleeping at night.

The most frustrating part of it all is that I don't have an answer to my problem. At least not a definitive solution. The only thing I can do is suck it up and keep going no matter how scared I am at times. Nothing is going to happen if I just sit around moping. I read once that courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the ability to fight despite of it. So I guess that makes me courageous, and maybe thats all one needs when faced with adversity or ones own fears and inadequacies. A little bit of bravery, mental strength, and I'm sure that a little bit of naivety goes a long way too.

Any thoughts people?


Until next time
Anita K. Olsen

website:
www.anitaolsen.daportfolio.com

contact:
anitaolsen.illustration@gmail.com

The returning predicament of time management..

Yes it is a returning problem. I fear it will be an ever present factor that will irk me to no end.
I started working part time three weeks ago, thinking that I would only be working two days a week, maybe three, but due to the fact that one of my co-workers just became a baby daddy and had to take time off I am feeling like I applied for a full time job instead of a part time job.

It won't last forever, it's only for two weeks, but having found myself in this tricky situation I find myself pondering the mere fact of how easy it is to become lost in what is supposed to be a part time job and forgetting or just not being able to find the time to do my illustration work.

Because I am aware of the problem I can nip it in the bud, and avoid ending up like a lot of students who take up part-time jobs to pay their bills while they struggle to break into the industry. Often it seems like a steady paycheck lures artists away from professional full-time illustration work, and it's kind of sad. I don't have a lot of experience yet, but I'm going through that problem right now and I have to say that I get why people often drown in their part time jobs. Your boss might ask you to work some extra shifts and it is all too easy to say yes because you keep thinking that you need the money. You can't be blamed for doing just that, but it's only a short term solution. It may not pay of right away, but in the long run it might actually be more prudent to turn down some of those extra shifts and focus on your illustration practice or classes or your homework(if you are still in school). That is what I intend to do, as much as possible at least. Because in the end I have to prioritize my dream and not my part time job, no matter how good of a job it is.

I realize that this was a rather lengthy post, but I felt like I needed to get it out of my system. If anyone has any comments or thoughts about the subject feel free to comment as always.

and last but not least here is a little sketch from our first drink and draw session:





Until next time
Anita Night