I've been dealing with death this week, and right now I'm not a fan. I recently lost my grandmother you see, and so I've found it hard to do anything creative. Today however it all came out in a river of illustrative and physical creativity.
By that I mean that I colored and cut my hair (that part I did not do myself), I started making some artwork for this years Christmas presents and I finished a speedpaint image I had lying around in my head. I guess my way of coping with loss is to throw myself into new projects. It keeps me preoccupied and hinders me from rolling in self pity and sadness. It's not healthy.
It is however healthy to grieve the one you loose, but I haven't let myself do that properly yet. I'm afraid that if I start crying I won't be able to stop. So I'm keeping my emotions in check until I get home, until I attend the funeral. It leaves me with a tangled knot between my shoulder blades and an even bigger knot in my heart, but I just don't have the option of letting go of my emotional control just yet.
I will soon though
Until next time